After my first year as middle school counselor, marking my return to middle school after six years as METCO elementary coordinator, I see not only the importance of a focus on the social emotional well-being of children but the effects of the socio-emotional challenges of all aspects of their lives. Kids are not shunning adults as we sometimes think. They often actually want to talk, to be heard, to be helped. The opposite is often a facade.

I learned, or relearned, that so many teachers look for the time to proactively work toward supporting kids socially and emotionally but are limited by the fact that they feel they have to teach for mastery of content area specific concepts and student performance on standardized tests all the time.

So many administrators and districts say that the social and emotional well being of their student body is at the forefront in terms of importance, but they too are either distracted or overwhelmed by demands for “academic numbers” and are therefore limited in terms of being able to actually give permission to teachers to take the time they need to focus on the social and emotional well being of students. Accolades are given for improved academic numbers not improved socio-emotional standings. We don’t even measure such constructs, though I learned of useful tools while completing my thesis. Why don’t we measure how are children are feeling?

We all know that kids need to be “okay” or in a good place in order to perform to their potential. Likewise, they feel better when they are performing well or feel academically sound. Many students feel the pressure to perform or deliver as well and are affected emotionally when grades and scores are not seemingly up to par. So, what comes first, socio-emotional well being or academic scores and performance (chicken or egg)?

My real question, “Is there anywhere that social and emotional well being comes first without the concern for being reprimanded by the academic standings population?” Are there institutions that have fully adopted such an approach and found a way to show that socio-emotional well being translates into better academic performance? There is much research to support this theory, but districts do not seem to have applied this research or placed the type of value that means an adjustment in practice. Maybe the idea that schools and teachers cannot put socio-emotional well being first is just a perception and it would, in fact, be just fine to put the social and emotional needs of kids first. Maybe such an approach would be heralded as courageous and much needed. I encourage those of you who are out there to take some time during each week to focus first and foremost on your students’ social and emotional well being. Not so much a scripted discussion where you do all the talking or you deliver information. Ask them how they are feeling and why. Follow up from time to time reminding them that you were listening and are genuinely interested in updates and keeping up with what is important to them. Offer advice. Need help? Get your district to offer the course and we will show you how (shameless plug), or email us for advice. It seems lower elementary education is inherently about such matters. The older kids get the more we emphasize numbers and scores.

Jan and I are teaching again in Lexington this summer. They do pretty well in terms of focusing on such matter. Love Lexington! Maybe there is a model there to be shared???

I am looking forward to the fall already. There are so many things I have learned from Wellesley’s super-team of counselors and so many things I will do differently in the name of delivering what I dream will be transformational socio-emotional support.

I need to find the time to write a white paper and deliver it somewhere. For now, consider this to be it. Please send us comments. We would love to hear from you. We are educators not professional bloggers, so you may have to send your comments to our email addresses if this blog does not accept them.

I hope you are enjoying this beautiful summer weather. My socio-emotional well being is best served by the hot summer sun beaming down on me. I am officially rejuvenated! It is my absolute favorite season!
Bill