In talking to kids about bullying and ally behavior we have decided to use the terms advantage and disadvantage instead of power, since power to some children seems like a good thing to have and the opposite may seem to be something like weakness. 

So, in any given bullying situation, several people may have an advantage and for different reasons.  The bully’s advantage could be size, demeanor, popularity/friends, etc. Others with advantages could be bystanders and those with experience dealing with bullying, maybe a more outgoing personality, supports or friendship bases, the simple fact that they are not the victim in the moment, family support, etc. 

Those at a disadvantage could be victims who are particularly shy, introverts, maybe smaller than the bully, lack experience dealing with bullies, don’t have a strong support base of peers and/or family members, etc.  They could also be homeless or under the poverty level, lack a proper education, or be members of a group that has dealt with bias of some sort (gender, race/ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or any cultural group).

We are now talking about situations in which we may have an advantage and whether or not it is our responsibility to use that advantage to help those who are at a disadvantage (not whether it is a good idea, but our responsibility).  Again, we are talking about such constructs not just with bullying but with homelessness, poverty, education and some schools’ lack of resources. It is interesting to hear what kids think. Some totally feel it is our responsibility, and others do not see it that way.  Some kids have learned that people are in their respective situations solely because of poor choices and situations that they could have controlled or avoided. Sometimes people just need to work harder. What weighty conversations we are having!  The activities we have used have been really helpful, though, and we are now at a point where we are examining specific ways we can use our advantages to support those at, or with, a disadvantage.  Great stuff even if the road was a long one!

I am finally reading Wonder by R.J. Palacio.  I think just about everyone in the district is reading it either for themselves or to their class. It is a must read for those working with students around concepts of acceptance, acceptance of differences, ally behavior, anti-bullying, character, relational aggression, middle school connections, friendships, and civics and so much more! I will post as I read, but thanks to J.S. for challenging me to catch up to her class so I may jump into the conversation.

Peace, Bill

Thanks to my friend and colleague, Miranda, my new favorite book is The Little Hummingbird by Michael Nicoll Yahgulanaas.  The notion of making an effort and doing SOMETHING ( “I am doing everything I can” says the hummingbird as she tries to put out a forest fire one drop of water at a time) resonates in so many ways.  Much of our work, and the work this week with elementary and middle school students around Dr. King and The Dream, is about giving our all to support one another and to facilitate change where needed in all facets of the communities to which we belong.

About the book-

From Minuteman Library Network:

Teaching the course has been fun and everyone is so insightful. I have learned as much as I have shared easily. The group of educators we have taking the course are doing so much already, it has been quite an experience.  Jan and I love this work so much that the time flies and there is so much we would like to add and share.  We hope everyone has enjoyed the experience and will employ whatever they have found to be useful. We have seen how combining our work around community building, ally behavior, cultural identity, and perspective taking can be transformative for an entire classroom, regardless of learning styles and abilities, and we are loving the A, A, & R adventure.

Bill

Janis Fovel has been an educator in the Wellesley Public Schools for over 30 years, and has been dedicated to the building of classroom community and connecting with the students in an authentic way. She believes that establishing a nurturing and caring classroom community is the foundation needed in order for children to achieve in the academic setting. Considering the perspectives of other members and looking at and sharing their own cultural identities has deepened the conversations in the class and has led to an increase in ally behavior and empathy among all members. This has led to creating a sense of “family” within a larger school environment and to greater risk taking among the students.

Bill Craft is a guidance counselor at Wellesley Middle School and was the Wellesley METCO elementary coordinator for six years. Bill also worked in the Lincoln Public Schools for eleven years, first as an elementary and middle school special education tutor and later as the METCO academic advisor. Bill is an elementary and middle school educator committed to emphasizing the value of supporting the social and emotional well being of children, the exploration of cultural identity and of the shared components of backgrounds, the celebration of differences in backgrounds, and the creation of sustainable, successful academic programming and support. Equally important to Bill are the many components of a healthy, nurturing community and the notion that high academic achievement is realized through a focus on these elements of the educational experience of children.

Connor Colarossi is a Needham High School Junior working with Bill Craft as an intern on a number of related projects.  Connor designed the AA &R website and contributed many of the links in the Ally Behavior/Anti-Bullying and Cultural Identity segments of the site and the list provided for the course.  It has been eye-opening to have Connor’s perspective, as a high school student, in terms of what may be helpful or useful in our work around these topics with children.