Got 80%?
Across the realm not all teachers are waiting for permission from administrators, or the implementation of cultural proficiency components of evaluation tools, to focus on the social-emotional, many are taking action. Likewise, I recognize that not all are either sold on or comfortable with the idea that the subjects and issues that Jan and I put forth are the most important in the quest to get kids to deliver their absolute best. One presenter I remember said that you should never expect 100% buy-in with regards to any idea or programming. You should appreciate 80% if you can attain it. Understood! However, even if we don’t say it or bring it up, children are surrounded by issues related to race, cultural identity, sexual identity, sexual orientation, gender, religion, friendships, popularity, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, privilege, advantage/disadvantage, bullying and so on day in and day out.
If we as adults don’t let children know that we are here to support them, that it is okay to bring up questions about such subject matter, or more important that we know those topics are somehow at play and we see them as important topics for discussion and work, then we are basically telling them that they are on their own, when in our charge. We are telling them that we don’t see these topics as being influential, or we are not there to help them. They need help and we as educators have to be assertive and willing to step out of our comfort zone. We challenge kids to take risks in our classrooms all the time. They may not have the exact answer or all the answers, but we want them to be part of the conversation. The same should go for adults, and especially educators. It may be outside our comfort zone, but we can be a part of the discussion and facilitate on the most basic level. Actually, the same goes for parents and families. There has to be a team approach.
Life experience should have prepared each of us to at least deliver the basic message that bias and prejudice with regards to any of these constructs is wrong and intolerable, and we should be able to say why. The next time it could be you or, if you look at your own cultural identity, one of the groups to which you belong was at one point mistreated or persecuted and we aim to end such mistreatment for all groups is a lesson we should all be able to teach. Lessons from Initiatives for Developing Equity and Achievement for All students (IDEAS which was formerly EMI) and Teaching Tolerance along with taking our course can help if you need it.
I do agree with and value the idea that there are many times when these lessons are best delivered in a cotaught setting or environment. Schools should identify any staff that are available/prepared to support these discussions and pair educators as best they can. It is vital that we address that with which we know kids struggle and focus. These topics are at play all day for them and for us.
Fortunately, I think I have seen far more than the 80% agree that this is important. Most just don’t want to get it wrong. That is valiant, but even those people are far more capable than they give themselves credit for being. If there is any hope that kids will get it right as adults more often than we have then we have to work with them now.
Bill
Gems
The kids are gems….and we need to be the guides at the side as we let them discover their own sparks. That is what will ultimately ignite our world ….
Jan
Good News! Good Question!
Last year was a good year in terms of efforts to address the topics and subject matter from which so many shy away in education, and there is some good stuff happening lately with regards to a focus on the social and emotional needs of kids. I am somewhat excited. I am happy to say that I do see a passionate focus on this work, and I look forward to the days and months ahead. There are administrators who believe this is the “good or important stuff.” Yay!!! I will share more as things transpire.
I also have found myself asking,
“Are the questions and focus I present geared toward getting for children the socio-emotional support they need or are they more in the name of garnering the behavior we as adults would like to see?”
I still believe in working with kids around reputation, and I believe their consideration of the way others see them is beneficial to their well-being. At the same time, I am thinking that such a focus is also about getting kids to behave the way we think they should. Questions and activities centered around ways that kids conduct themselves and the resulting reputations that may be developed could easily wander toward getting them to curb certain behaviors for our benefit over helping them to be seen in the most positive light and being treated as the gems that they are. I want to be sure to be careful not to have my wishes for behavior drive my work to the point of moving away from what I believe is most important which is the social well-being of children and the emotional well-being of children. Ask yourselves,
“Is this ultimately going to benefit me and the adults and is this about behavior management or is this really aimed at positively affecting the happiness and socio-emotional well-being of children?”
I may be a bit too reflective. At the same time, I totally believe in reinventing oneself whenever the need arises. We are looking for a way for you to weigh in on such matters. If we can get feedback to post here, we will. Otherwise, we may need to open up Facebook for your posts. In the meantime email us at the addresses in the “Contact Us” section.
Bill
Chicken or the Egg?
After my first year as middle school counselor, marking my return to middle school after six years as METCO elementary coordinator, I see not only the importance of a focus on the social emotional well-being of children but the effects of the socio-emotional challenges of all aspects of their lives. Kids are not shunning adults as we sometimes think. They often actually want to talk, to be heard, to be helped. The opposite is often a facade.
I learned, or relearned, that so many teachers look for the time to proactively work toward supporting kids socially and emotionally but are limited by the fact that they feel they have to teach for mastery of content area specific concepts and student performance on standardized tests all the time.
So many administrators and districts say that the social and emotional well being of their student body is at the forefront in terms of importance, but they too are either distracted or overwhelmed by demands for “academic numbers” and are therefore limited in terms of being able to actually give permission to teachers to take the time they need to focus on the social and emotional well being of students. Accolades are given for improved academic numbers not improved socio-emotional standings. We don’t even measure such constructs, though I learned of useful tools while completing my thesis. Why don’t we measure how are children are feeling?
We all know that kids need to be “okay” or in a good place in order to perform to their potential. Likewise, they feel better when they are performing well or feel academically sound. Many students feel the pressure to perform or deliver as well and are affected emotionally when grades and scores are not seemingly up to par. So, what comes first, socio-emotional well being or academic scores and performance (chicken or egg)?
My real question, “Is there anywhere that social and emotional well being comes first without the concern for being reprimanded by the academic standings population?” Are there institutions that have fully adopted such an approach and found a way to show that socio-emotional well being translates into better academic performance? There is much research to support this theory, but districts do not seem to have applied this research or placed the type of value that means an adjustment in practice. Maybe the idea that schools and teachers cannot put socio-emotional well being first is just a perception and it would, in fact, be just fine to put the social and emotional needs of kids first. Maybe such an approach would be heralded as courageous and much needed. I encourage those of you who are out there to take some time during each week to focus first and foremost on your students’ social and emotional well being. Not so much a scripted discussion where you do all the talking or you deliver information. Ask them how they are feeling and why. Follow up from time to time reminding them that you were listening and are genuinely interested in updates and keeping up with what is important to them. Offer advice. Need help? Get your district to offer the course and we will show you how (shameless plug), or email us for advice. It seems lower elementary education is inherently about such matters. The older kids get the more we emphasize numbers and scores.
Jan and I are teaching again in Lexington this summer. They do pretty well in terms of focusing on such matter. Love Lexington! Maybe there is a model there to be shared???
I am looking forward to the fall already. There are so many things I have learned from Wellesley’s super-team of counselors and so many things I will do differently in the name of delivering what I dream will be transformational socio-emotional support.
I need to find the time to write a white paper and deliver it somewhere. For now, consider this to be it. Please send us comments. We would love to hear from you. We are educators not professional bloggers, so you may have to send your comments to our email addresses if this blog does not accept them.
I hope you are enjoying this beautiful summer weather. My socio-emotional well being is best served by the hot summer sun beaming down on me. I am officially rejuvenated! It is my absolute favorite season!
Bill
Overheard and Profound
I happened to be sitting next to two guys when one commented,
“Physical diversity is great, but if you are not exchanging ideas, thoughts, and conversing what the hell is the point!?”
What a great question I thought. So, what is the point? Fortunately, we are exchanging ideas, thoughts, and conversing. Still, the comment and subsequent question are worth sharing with colleagues and could be useful in pushing for more action.
Bill
The Skin on My Chin is a Must!
Check out The Skin on My Chin on Facebook! Michelle Chalmers is a parent, cultural ambassador, author, and friend who wrote this children’s book on skin color that really nails it! It is appropriate for all ages, and the book offers great definitions and discussion points at the end. Michelle is also available to facilitate in classrooms/schools. Our sixth graders were unbelievably focused, and the activities and discussions lingered beyond the day and time that Michelle was there. Buy the book at least!
Bill
Backing Up
I realized recently that I am not following my own advice, which is something so many of us adults tend to do. In working with a group of students, I failed to adequately build a sense of community before delving into the deeper work. The kids responded with requests to play games etc. They don’t really know each other, and I have not fully earned the “buy-in” that I was tentatively rewarded when they expressed their excitement over working with me. I am backing up to take the time to get to know my group, to allow them to get to know each other, and to allow them to get to know me. I think teachers feel a certain amount of pressure to deliver something astounding, or at least that which we promised, as early as possible even when that perceived pressure is not as heavy as it seems. I will take care of the social and emotional connections and needs first, and then ask my kids to take the leap (or risks). At least I can say that I heard them loud and clear, and I am responding. Be flexible and put them first, right?
Bill
Thrilled!
Jan and I are teaching in Wellesley again and facilitated our first session of the fall yesterday. What a great group! We always feel we take away as much as we share. We felt so comfortable and honored throughout the evening. We also have heard from some Lexington friends and hope to get together for a reunion of sorts. We have so much fun teaching and making connections, we really feel we are creating lifelong friendships and collaborations with our course-takers. Thank you all!
I should also mention that I am now a middle school guidance counselor at Wellesley Middle School. I love middle school, and guidance is just the best realm ever! I have met so many great colleagues, and the students and families have really welcomed me and treated me like a valued member of a very special community.
I miss my friends at the elementary level and I miss being a METCO faculty member, but I refuse to say goodbye. We will stay connected and you will always be special to me!
Bill
Excited About Lexington!
Jan and I are thinking this is an absolutely amazing group with whom we are working! What a great day with the folks taking our course in Lexington. Many of us talked about feeling validated, and Jan and I learned as much as we shared. We stayed long after others left to talk about how great we felt at the end of Session 1. The sense of community was palpable, and we cannot wait to share all that we have to share and experience all that our course takers have to offer. Thanks a million for just a great afternoon/evening! Bill and Jan
Marathon
While I cannot stop thinking about the victims of last Monday, the seemingly unusual cooperation and camaraderie between different law enforcement agencies and community members was also striking. It does strengthen my resolve to hammer home the point that we all benefit when we come together and work together. Neil Diamond showing up at the red Sox game was a bonus!
As we return to school, we all know how important it is for kids to see that they don’t have to be at home to be cared for, nurtured, supported, and treasured whether the subject of the Marathon arises or not. I, for one, will try to stay positive.
Read Have You Filled a Bucket Today or Only One You tomorrow and base your day on the themes and context. How many times and in how many ways can you fill someone’s bucket? Building a true sense of community is not just a good idea. It is the foundation which gets all of us, children and adults, through both relatively minor and clearly complex hardships. Bill
allies, achievers, & risk takers 