In talking to kids about bullying and ally behavior we have decided to use the terms advantage and disadvantage instead of power, since power to some children seems like a good thing to have and the opposite may seem to be something like weakness. 

So, in any given bullying situation, several people may have an advantage and for different reasons.  The bully’s advantage could be size, demeanor, popularity/friends, etc. Others with advantages could be bystanders and those with experience dealing with bullying, maybe a more outgoing personality, supports or friendship bases, the simple fact that they are not the victim in the moment, family support, etc. 

Those at a disadvantage could be victims who are particularly shy, introverts, maybe smaller than the bully, lack experience dealing with bullies, don’t have a strong support base of peers and/or family members, etc.  They could also be homeless or under the poverty level, lack a proper education, or be members of a group that has dealt with bias of some sort (gender, race/ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or any cultural group).

We are now talking about situations in which we may have an advantage and whether or not it is our responsibility to use that advantage to help those who are at a disadvantage (not whether it is a good idea, but our responsibility).  Again, we are talking about such constructs not just with bullying but with homelessness, poverty, education and some schools’ lack of resources. It is interesting to hear what kids think. Some totally feel it is our responsibility, and others do not see it that way.  Some kids have learned that people are in their respective situations solely because of poor choices and situations that they could have controlled or avoided. Sometimes people just need to work harder. What weighty conversations we are having!  The activities we have used have been really helpful, though, and we are now at a point where we are examining specific ways we can use our advantages to support those at, or with, a disadvantage.  Great stuff even if the road was a long one!